How do I move forward in a Godly way with dating relationships?

Dear Pastor,


I’ve been a lover of Jesus since I was 18, and throughout my lifetime God has revealed to me my greatest hangup: relationships. I Personally connect with God through prayer journals & daily bible study. Yet, we all fall short! I Was married for 6 years to the wrong man, and I was given a second chance when he committed adultery. Otherwise, I’d be married still, as I struggle to follow His rules/guidelines for my life. I fell head over heels for The first man who came along. We dated for over a year, but god clearly moved me to end the relationship this past December. I know it was the right thing at the time. However we met yesterday, and he has grown much closer in god. He feels this is why we were supposed to separate. I do love him, but there’s a major catch… I have also developed strong feelings for another man. I never believed people who said they were in love with two people, yet, here I am. I do love both for different reasons. I’ve prayed and prayed, yet I feel as though God wants to teach me through this process. Please share with me advice on how to choose correctly. Since my failed marriage (6 years of emotional/mental torture)… I’m terrified of getting mixed up again! How do I go forward in a godly way?!? Please advise me on the best approach!!!









Remember that your first and most important relationship is with the LORD. He is the only one who can satisfy your deepest longings. You must not let any human being pressure you to take any particular path unless the LORD has given you the green light. Anytime the LORD gives you the “go ahead” it will be consistent with Scripture. He will never violate His Word. Until the LORD says “Go” it is far and away best to wait. We make many foolish decisions when we are pressured either by ourselves or by others. King Saul is an example (see 1 Samuel 13:5-14).


As to your question concerning love, it is possible to love more than one person. Just ask any mother who has more than one child. God Himself loves the entire world (John 3:16).


Remember that love is more than feelings. No one stays on an emotional high. Feelings are like the tide, they come and go and are not always of the same strength. Also, true love requires us to do things that do not feel good (like take a child to the physician for a vaccination). The Bible speaks of this as agape. Agape is sacrificial. Agape puts the needs of the other person before your own. Agape involves commitment. Agape is a choice, an act of the will. Hollywood puts all of the emphasis on the warm, fuzzy feelings of romance. Romance is important but it is not the total experience of love. It is a part, but only a part.


Give this issue some time. You have been impulsive in the past and it has gotten you in trouble. Over time you will see both men in a variety of situations. Make the effort to discover their true character and their true heart for Jesus. Clarity will come as you continue to depend on the LORD, asking Him to reveal His will. You do not have to decide today.


I’d like to recommend two books to you, both by Dr. James Dobson. He is a respected Christian author and psychologist. You will do well to read them.

Emotions: Can You Trust Them?

Head Over Heels: How to Fall in Love and Land on Your Feet

~ Pastor Chris

What does Genesis 3:16 mean when it says your desire will be for your husband?

Pastor Chris,

I was reading in genesis about the fall of man. I came across a verse I never noticed before and do not quite understand. I was wondering if you could offer some insight into the meaning of this verse. In genesis3:16, the bible says, “and god said to the woman, ‘your desire will be for you husband but he shall rule over you.'”

I Am very confused as to what this verse is saying about e husbanD/wife relationship.

~ Leanna 





You have asked a significant question. I commend you for searching the Scriptures thoughtfully, prayerfully, and diligently.


God has perfect relationships within the Trinity. There is perfect communion between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When God put Adam and Eve in the garden they had perfect relationships, too. They had perfect communion with each other and with God.


Genesis 3:16 comes after Adam and Eve sinned. When they sinned they broke fellowship with God and with each other. Relationships were fractured.


Sin carries consequences. Genesis 3:16 speaks to some of the consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin.


It is interesting to read how different versions of the Bible translate this verse.


And you will desire to control your husband,

but he will rule over you. NLT


You’ll want to please your husband,

but he’ll lord it over you. THE MESSAGE


Your desire will be for your husband,

yet he will dominate you. HCSB


you shall welcome your husband’s affections,

and he shall be your master. TLB


Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.” NIV


When a husband is acting out of his flesh (sin nature) he can become unreasonable and demanding. When a wife is acting out of her flesh she can become controlling (NLT) and can put her husband before God (your desire will be for your husband).


In all of life the first priority is God Himself. When that priority is in place we live better, we treat each other better, and we know God’s perfect peace. The Bible says, “live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature”

(Galatians 5:16, NIV).


Some good books on the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in marriage from a biblical perspective are:


Strike the Original Match by Charles R. Swindoll


Different by Design by John MacArthur, Jr.


Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs


His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.


The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman


God bless you!

~ Pastor Chris