Afraid to Speak of My Past


Pastor Chris,

Before I became a Christian, I had an ungodly life, full of lies and fornication. I am afraid to speak of my past. What can I do? Since coming to Jesus, I feel full of life and want to share my experience with others.

~ Mai Solange


Dear Mbi,

It is a wonderful moment when someone comes to Christ! He or she finds forgiveness and eternal life, as well as a purpose for living. I am excited about your desire to tell others about Jesus. Take your Bible and read John 4:1-42. In this story you will find a woman with a similar story to your own. You will see how Jesus changed her life and how she told others about Him. It will encourage you.

~ Pastor Chris

Why did God lie to me? What plan does He have for my life?

Pastor Chris,

Genesis 2:18
Ephesians 5:31
Psalm 20:4
James 1:4

All of these verses prove that as i have survived two wars, eight tornados, and two hurricanes i should be happily married as i was patient, waited my turn, and ask god, so why am i stuck living with my parents single 23 years old and unable to find a job. does god hate me? Does he know where i’ve been? Does he care? I never wanted money or fame or glory or medals. i just want a wife who can understand i had to do bad things to bad people. So why did God lie to me, what plan does he have for my life, and who will except me for the monster i had to become?



One of the most difficult things to do is wait on God. We want to know why we are waiting and how long will we have to wait. I have asked those questions, too. You will want to get Larry Richards’ book When It Hurts Too Much to Wait: Understanding God’s Timing for a thorough discussion of this subject.

For now let me remind you of a few things:
God values faith (Hebrews 11:6). We please Him when we trust Him.
God is our Creator and He loves us perfectly (Genesis 1-2; John 3:16).
Offering ourselves to God without reservation is a prerequisite to knowing His will (Romans 12:1-2).
God does not lie (Titus 1:2).
Satisfaction in life is all about knowing God and doing His will. Solomon wrote the book of Ecclesiastes after he had tried to find fulfillment in education, work, wealth, multiple wives, substance abuse, and various entertainments. He called these efforts “chasing after the wind”. At the end of the book he writes, “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, NIV).

Well known psychologist and author Larry Crabb says it this way, “Whenever we place a higher priority on solving our problems than on pursuing God, we are immoral.” Put your eyes on Jesus and keep them there. He is trustworthy. He knows what He is doing and why He is doing it. Live for His glory not your own comfort. If you keep your eyes on your troubles you will fall into despair. Look beyond the circumstances. God is fashioning you into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29).

Does God love some people more than others?

Pastor Chris,


Does God love some people more than others? It does not say in the bible that he loves everyone the same. I really have been feeling hopeless lately because I feel he does not love me as much as many others – especially my little sister. It’s been tearing me up inside. It just hurts so bad.


~ Nichole






God bless you! Yes, He loves you! You will remember John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (NIV). The Bible also says that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). It is God’s very nature to love.


The problem is with us. We sometimes question God when difficult circumstances invade our lives. Why would He allow us to hurt? Or have problems? Why do others seem to have God’s blessing?


Our emotions can lie to us. The enemy, the devil, knows this and will try to get us to live our lives based on feelings. Feelings are strong and very real, but that does not mean they always speak truth.


It is important that we saturate our minds with truth. Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about the true things, the noble things, the right things, the pure things, the lovely things, the admirable things, the excellent things, and the praiseworthy things. When we do this we find that our emotions become positive and we feel good.


Resist the temptation to compare yourself and your life experiences to others. This is a trap. You cannot know what inner struggles others have, the temptations they face, or what will happen to them in the future. Jesus told Peter not to worry about what He had planned for John (see John 21:21-23).


God has a plan. That plan includes you. He doesn’t make mistakes. When we arrive in heaven and experience the glories of our Savior face-to-face along with the joys of eternal life, all of our deepest desires will be fulfilled. Keep following Jesus. You can trust Him.

~ Pastor Chris


(For further study see Disappointment with God.)