I have broken my marriage vows. I have seduced a younger man who is single. I love my husband and our children but do not know if I want to stay married. I have contacted a lawyer. Do you have any advice for me?
– Jane Doe
You are on a dark, destructive path. The following points are given to you in no particular order.
• Count the cost (Luke 14:25-35). Whatever decision you make has an impact on many people, including your children. That impact will last a long, long time.
• Ask yourself: What would Jesus do?
• Read Psalm 51 multiple times. Let its words wash over you. King David wrote this after his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband was exposed.
• Read John 8:1-11. Pay special attention to verse 11. You can stop sinning if you choose to do so.
• Review 1 John 1:9.
• Think about what your actions are doing to the man who is not your husband (Proverbs 6:32; 7:21-27).
• You cannot continue in sin and be happy. Happiness is a by-product of a right relationship with Jesus. You can choose to be happy in Jesus. Read Matthew 5:3-12 putting the word “happy” in place of “blessed.” (The Greek word can be translated both ways.)
• Sin blinds, binds, and then grinds. That is what happened to Samson (Judges 13-16).
• Remember, this life is less than a millisecond when you compare it to eternity. Abundant life is found in Jesus alone, not other people (John 10:10).
• The devil is your enemy. He is a liar and a deceiver (John 8:44). You can be sure that the devil is lying to you and has deceived you. That is what the devil does. The devil offers cheap thrills. R.G. Lee said in his memorable sermon Payday Someday, “The devil will give you corn and then choke you with the cob. The devil’s pearls are paste pearls.”
• Put on spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:10-18).
• It is always best to return to the Lord (Joel 2:13; Zechariah 1:3).
May your heart be filled and renewed with the love of Christ!
Recently I have been needing to ask a strong Christian for their opinion / ideas around a personal issue but have struck out so I thought I might ask the online experts.
My boyfriend and I live on residence at College (university) where we met last year. Next year we will be moving out, separately, with friends (we believe we should not live together before marriage).
However, he has decided to live with one of our mutual girl friends, to which I am not suspicious because I trust them both entirely. My issue comes from the notion that in the future, if / when we are husband and wife, I would not be able to forget that he had another woman fulfilling the duties that his wife should (because I know this girl and she is a very mothering/taking care of a home type) before I would get to.
Is there any credibility to my feeling this way at all and does the bible say anything much about how conservative we should be living before marriage?
For instance, I would never even consider moving out with a man prior to marriage, but nowadays, is it so wrong that he doesn’t think it wrong to live with another woman?
Thanks for your consideration and time,
Anything will help.
The Bible says that we are to “Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22, KJV). For your boyfriend to live in the situation you describe is to violate this verse. Observers would see their living arrangements and assume that intimacies were taking place outside of marriage even if they were in fact not happening. Our witness to outsiders is vital if we want to win them to Christ.
IS MASTURBATION CONSIDERED A SIN?
Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28, NIV). Masturbation involves lust. It is adultery and is therefore sin.
For detailed help you might want to get Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Counterattack: Taking Back Ground Lost to Sin by Jay Carty. Both of these books are thorough, practical, and well written.